So what did I wake up to today? Landon and Evans conversation about...this:
Landon: Oooohhh magic green Grandaddy Looonnngg Leegggss - (dramatic pause) - (now really really fast) Where's your cow, wheres your cow, wheres your cow cow cow coooowwwww?
Evan: (shreik) - Aaaaahhhh Loook he did it he did it he did it!!!!!
Landon: yeah! He lifted his leg and pointed to the field outside! Told you he was magic!
Repeat this about 4X - each time a little louder.
Loud smacking sound...
Landon: EVAN! Why did you do that, jeez?
Evan: haha I squished him. Him's not magic no mo.
5.14.2010
I love, love, love Intercourse!!
Yes I do...Intercourse PA that is. It is the cutest most quaint little town in Amish country and probably one of the best places of the many that I visited last week in PA. Just for the record...philadelphia is not on my good list. Any city that actually smells like old dirty socks and stale popcorn combined has issues. Particularly if there is neither a sock recycling center around NOR a popcorn factory which is the only viable excuse a city can have to explain that kind of smell.
Anyway, back to intercourse. It was actually quite happening. I guess lots of people visit and stay in the inns and buy quilts. Personally I just like to watch the Amish ride around in their little black buggies and see all the little amish boys running around and playing in the fields. ahhhh such a simpler time....blah blah blah. Of course there are hella lot of Mennonites there too. The biggest difference that I noted, was that the Mennonites must go to their own Mennonite School of Driving where the motto is "It's not considered vehicular manslaughter if the Devil made you do it." Which incidentally is not only the motto but the standard plea bargain as well. I was nearly manslaughtered about 30 times.
You know...if I were Amish...I would wear some Mennonite clothes (which are very similar) and then I would hijack a car and go for a joyride. Then when the cops came to my house I'd be like...what the heck, I'm Amish, I don't drive. Check out the mennonites.
Oh and I think some great town slogans would be....
Welcome to Intercourse...where even a headache can't keep you away!
Intercourse...you're in it before you know it, and out just as quick!
Intercourse...it's only sex to the rest of the world.
Intercourse...makers of fine cheese!
Anyway, back to intercourse. It was actually quite happening. I guess lots of people visit and stay in the inns and buy quilts. Personally I just like to watch the Amish ride around in their little black buggies and see all the little amish boys running around and playing in the fields. ahhhh such a simpler time....blah blah blah. Of course there are hella lot of Mennonites there too. The biggest difference that I noted, was that the Mennonites must go to their own Mennonite School of Driving where the motto is "It's not considered vehicular manslaughter if the Devil made you do it." Which incidentally is not only the motto but the standard plea bargain as well. I was nearly manslaughtered about 30 times.
You know...if I were Amish...I would wear some Mennonite clothes (which are very similar) and then I would hijack a car and go for a joyride. Then when the cops came to my house I'd be like...what the heck, I'm Amish, I don't drive. Check out the mennonites.
Oh and I think some great town slogans would be....
Welcome to Intercourse...where even a headache can't keep you away!
Intercourse...you're in it before you know it, and out just as quick!
Intercourse...it's only sex to the rest of the world.
Intercourse...makers of fine cheese!
Kanye's Little Helper
What started out as a silly conversation mutated into a drivetime trance...believe me, 4 hours in a car alone and this is the kind of crap that runs through your head....
Kanye West - addtional lyrics he could have used in Stronger
Oh and I do give Kanye big props on making anything rhyme with Apollonia - oh and I'm submitting the cliff notes of lyrics but you'll get the basic idea...
Kanye says: How long I been on ya....
since Prince was on Apollonia
since OJ had isotona's
Here are some additional lyrics I thought he could use to mix it up a little....
since....
The Knack recorded My Sharona
oscar mayer made bologna
Clinton played the saxaphona
Bell invented the telephona
priests couldnt leave little boys alona
Elvis made girls scream and moana
scientists deciphered the Rosetta Stona
cheese was put on macarona
this old man gave the dog a bona
Pete Rose needed an organ dona
ladies been givin their man cologna
limes been put into corona
DQ swirled their ice cream cona
the big ol' whale swallowed Jonah
scooby doo said rutro I reard a groana
latinos like the look of chroma
Britney was hooked on Hydrocona
Kanye West - addtional lyrics he could have used in Stronger
Oh and I do give Kanye big props on making anything rhyme with Apollonia - oh and I'm submitting the cliff notes of lyrics but you'll get the basic idea...
Kanye says: How long I been on ya....
since Prince was on Apollonia
since OJ had isotona's
Here are some additional lyrics I thought he could use to mix it up a little....
since....
The Knack recorded My Sharona
oscar mayer made bologna
Clinton played the saxaphona
Bell invented the telephona
priests couldnt leave little boys alona
Elvis made girls scream and moana
scientists deciphered the Rosetta Stona
cheese was put on macarona
this old man gave the dog a bona
Pete Rose needed an organ dona
ladies been givin their man cologna
limes been put into corona
DQ swirled their ice cream cona
the big ol' whale swallowed Jonah
scooby doo said rutro I reard a groana
latinos like the look of chroma
Britney was hooked on Hydrocona
My BabyPhat Legacy
I finally have decided that my son Evan is my very own mini Kimora Lee Simmons. He would change clothes about 3x a day if I let him and is VERY particular about how the clothes look on him. The fit, the fabric and even the color all have to be just perfect. So many times I just sit back and admire how the red cowboy boots play off the purple and yellow striped tee that he has so carefully matched with green windbreaker shorts/pants. Of course, they are unzipped at the knee and made into shorts. Even Halloween costumes prove no different, thus his creation of the Vampire Mummy. He suggested that Landon be a Ninja Reaper and not just a boring old ninja. So based on his fashion wisdom, I have a list of essentials that no little Kimora should be without. There is no distinction between Chic Kimora wear, southern girl/boy wear, trendy french wear or the metro Kimora look. BabyPhat by Evan is simply...perfection.
Guidelines for your own stylish BabyPhat wardrobe
Anything camo can be worn with anything plaid
Boots with shorts is not just Southern style, it's high fashion school wear
Sweatpants and crocs...the new classic (oh and you know some of you already are on that trend)
Rubber Bands make great bracelets for Sundays best attire - also good - fake dog tags on brightly colored yarn necklace
SwimTrunks....anytime!!!! But perfect for a night out to dinner when paired with a classy tank top featuring some sort of ball.
All tennis shoes must feature spiderman...accept nothing less!
Hawaiin style shirts are best paired with a brightly colored belt featuring either skulls or dragons or motorcycles.
But remember, nothing says style like the attitude it takes to pull it all off!
Guidelines for your own stylish BabyPhat wardrobe
Anything camo can be worn with anything plaid
Boots with shorts is not just Southern style, it's high fashion school wear
Sweatpants and crocs...the new classic (oh and you know some of you already are on that trend)
Rubber Bands make great bracelets for Sundays best attire - also good - fake dog tags on brightly colored yarn necklace
SwimTrunks....anytime!!!! But perfect for a night out to dinner when paired with a classy tank top featuring some sort of ball.
All tennis shoes must feature spiderman...accept nothing less!
Hawaiin style shirts are best paired with a brightly colored belt featuring either skulls or dragons or motorcycles.
But remember, nothing says style like the attitude it takes to pull it all off!
Poetix ha!
Yes a deviation from my normal mode of musings...
Complete
There is nothing now but new
rain on sprouting grass.
The tender blur of leaves on twining branches
masks not the taunts of black masses of birds,
nor cools the heat from wings pounding in unison-
one dark cloud rising.
In this Eden, I am the statue anchored
between the wild heavens and ancient earth.
Consecrated
I felt you stir
beyond the distance where temples of men
spew forth their righteous proclamations
A sure steady rising within, from depths
that leave even the oceans in their jealous frenzy
You fare not from my dreams, but a place
foreign to my experience, long awaited
in the dark contours of my being
Eclipsed not by heavens shadows, I revel
in the lightness of you
tempted not by the honey warm scent of heavens cup,
for I lay already drunk, lifting the lotus
of a thousand petals from my lips.
Among lifetimes you sought me, but it is in
this one that you draw me close
dissolved…in but a single breath,
perhaps a sigh…..complete
A New World
So we too found ourselves
in the unnamed place
between ordinary and extreme-
Where the North Wind fast froze
the scorching words that left our lips
and the echoless voice with no reminders
of these cruelties…
Just the roaring jagged edges
of this glacier of accusations that
declares itself a monument to those
dark places within, concealing a fire
so hot that it cannot burn
I too conceal deep fires but choose
instead, to dig in with the grit
of my years, and blow by blow
I chip away at the glacier
edging closer to the top
to be reborn in the warmth of the sun.
Complete
There is nothing now but new
rain on sprouting grass.
The tender blur of leaves on twining branches
masks not the taunts of black masses of birds,
nor cools the heat from wings pounding in unison-
one dark cloud rising.
In this Eden, I am the statue anchored
between the wild heavens and ancient earth.
Consecrated
I felt you stir
beyond the distance where temples of men
spew forth their righteous proclamations
A sure steady rising within, from depths
that leave even the oceans in their jealous frenzy
You fare not from my dreams, but a place
foreign to my experience, long awaited
in the dark contours of my being
Eclipsed not by heavens shadows, I revel
in the lightness of you
tempted not by the honey warm scent of heavens cup,
for I lay already drunk, lifting the lotus
of a thousand petals from my lips.
Among lifetimes you sought me, but it is in
this one that you draw me close
dissolved…in but a single breath,
perhaps a sigh…..complete
A New World
So we too found ourselves
in the unnamed place
between ordinary and extreme-
Where the North Wind fast froze
the scorching words that left our lips
and the echoless voice with no reminders
of these cruelties…
Just the roaring jagged edges
of this glacier of accusations that
declares itself a monument to those
dark places within, concealing a fire
so hot that it cannot burn
I too conceal deep fires but choose
instead, to dig in with the grit
of my years, and blow by blow
I chip away at the glacier
edging closer to the top
to be reborn in the warmth of the sun.
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