Oh GREAT!!....Expectations!

You know, I'm a talker. And I can admit to overanalyzing things too - sometimes to my own detriment. But I dont understand why this whole "communication thing" is such a big deal. You open your mouth and words come out. We've been doing it all our lives. However, talk about emotions or relationships and you might as well be speaking in tongue. I know, even I get tongue-tied and supershy when it comes to all this "junk" so to put the question to a non-talker - well don't expect much in return. Not that it's a bad thing. My lesson for the week, you can't change people but you can change your expectations of them. So you are dating/married/stalking a non-talker. Ok. Who isnt? Sure is frustrating...but it's frustrating for both sides. I mean the pressure we talkers put on the non-communicative! And the outcome never really equals the effort. So just stop talking. Yep, that's what I said. People communicate in so many ways and I guess as a talker I expect "talking" to be universal. But since I've stopped and taken a moment, I realize that I can 'hear' so much more about what someone is saying, once I take note of what their language is. Putting our own expectations on our partner really just adds to the stress of the relationship. Not that you should be a doormat for anyone! BUT expectations can leave both people disappointed...one feels misunderstood and the other feels inadequate.

Before we start talking, maybe we should listen to the language of our partner first.

As an aside I need to make a clarification...more than a talker, I'm a writer. Therefore, what I cant get out in a conversation typically ends up in a REALLY REALLY long email. I might tend to elaborate a little much. But hey, that's my language, ya know?