10.30.2009

At War with Dead Ebay Seller - dec '06

Based on 80% truth unfortunately:

Ugh Well it finally happened. After a full onslaught of threats about negative feedback, retracted payments, and a barrage of emails and maybe even a little psycho phone call after a rather tedious online search... I received the following message in my inbox...

'Sorry for the delay. I will ship your item immediately! My Granny Pearl was the seller
for the item but she passed unexpectedly. We found her slumped over the computer.
For several days we noticed her phone line was always busy but this was a crazy time of
year for her ebay sales so we shrugged it off thinking she was just filling a tremendous
amount of orders for her homemade Elvis soaps and corn callus remover.'

OF course I promptly forwarded the message to mission control at ebay, pissed that someone was trying to make an ass of me because they "forgot" to send my item because someone "died". As if. So I demanded a death certificate. OH yes I did!! I replied to the seller in like.

Ebay claims they cannot provide such information as they do not have access to it and it falls outside the realm of claim disputes. SO, I'm just going to start selling all kinds of crap on ebay with all the other crap on there, collect payment, dont send the item and THEN claim a death.

As it turns out, the seller did ship my item but was highly incensed at the death cert request. However, she photocopied it and attached a pic of a sweet little old granny in a bonnet sitting at the computer with a toothless grin. DAMNATION! Who would think that a ebay seller with the name HanksHotOnes would be a granny? I mean why wouldn't she pick something age appropriate like PickleGrits?

I have to laugh and remind myself that it wasn't heart failure caused by those emails I sent. I only jokingly mentioned stealing his/her identity for porn purchases and then hunting him/her down and boiling his/her rabbit in front his/her snot nosed brats. Surely she didn't think I was serious. After all, who keeps rabbits around the house these days?

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