Mute Suckage

uuuggh I have LARYNGITIS!!!!wah haha wah haha...nice...i hate not being able to talk. I suppose between deaf, blind and mute that mute would be the way to go.


hmmm or not....my list of reasons it sucks to be mute
1. Not being able to yell at people such as
a. kids when they do "bad things"
b. people that cut you off in traffic
c. telemarketers

2. Not being able to yell at someone to help them or get help yourself:
a. someone, unawares, is going to be hit by a train, bus, car or mo-ped
b. the house catches on fire, you cut off an arm accidentally and all 911
gets are weird little clicking sounds as you try to form words
3. No singing - in the shower, in the car, in the woods - the usual places
4. No telemarketing jobs/motivational speaker positions/ or ham radio operator
5. Unlike blindness and deafness you probably dont get any type of disability for being mute - I guess there might be A LOT more accident related MUTE cases out there trying for govt pay
6. Orgasms would more closely resemble a seizure - rolling eyes, flailing but no sound - rather creepy
7. In the throes of passion "take me now" in sign language doesn't pack quite the punch of a sultry come hither tone
8. No making ghost noises to scare the kids
9. Everyone thinks you love the movie The Piano
10. Never get to have the lead in the school play or be a cheerleader
11. guidance counselors always suggest librarian as possible career fit
and finally
12. While Xmas caroling you will always be designated as the book holder/page turner