Red Carpet Rant

Remember... this is 2006-2007:

Well I didn't actually watch the GOlden Globes because I really don't care about awards shows in general. I mean, who gives a rats bum about the Hollywood foreign Press when there are so many more interesting things happening on the red carpet.


ok let's start...oh yeah I was just flipping through the yahoo pics coverage out of sheer boredom hell....

This year I am so proud to say the Hillary Swank was not nearly as horsefaced as last year. She actually looked pretty decent. Of course when you have won an oscar or 2, you should be able to pay an image consultant to get rid of your horse face.

Lots of big stars and I mean that Literally. You know I like Camryn Manheim on The Practice but...where the heck has she been and why did she show up on the red carpet this year? It would be like seeing Tom Wopat (Luke Duke) at the globes this year.

Usually I just love Scarlett Johanssen (SP) classic hollywood style - somewhat vintage...I think maybe she was going for a softer look but I couldnt get past her missile tiddies!! MY GOD!! They were sticking straight out! She looked like she had grabbed one of Madonnas old Blond AMbition tour "brones" bra+cone eeek

And I was surprised that the actor in drama award went to the guy from Capote who I just cant get past seeing him slurping the extra grease of the pizza in Along came Polly I think it was...he was such a slob. ANYWHO, hate to make fun of someones date, but OMG...you really should have seen what his date had on...it was a little sad. I guess he is not rich enough of an actor to get his girl a FREAKIN NATIONALLY TELEVISED RED CARPET AWARDS WALK DECENT MAKEOVER! Poor thing looked like she had borrowed her daughters prom dress and cute hair barrette though she was a little oversized for it and a little OLD for it as well. I really enjoyed the "Holy Shit, I can't believe this fat Mother effer was invited! If he wins He better take me to the Denny's for the Surf and Turf meal. Pack of winston's would be nice too. DAMN!" Look that she had on her face the whole time they walked the carpet. I think she may have asked Kevin Bacon to sign her cleavage.

Keira Knightly...could someone please at least put some sort of ugly on her. She could shave her head bald and still be beautiful. Somewhat shockingly, Melissa Etheridge I think actually looks pretty... bald.
THEN there was Natalie Portman who was bald and let's just say a little to Sinead OConner for me. Plus her rather creepy stare leads me to believe she may be a closet scientologist.

What was scarier...Nicolette SHeridans alien face or the man on her arm...Michael Bolton?

Adrian Brody I think just happy to be there. I mean truthfully with a face like that he could do Stay Away from Meth or YOU may look like THIS posters!

Johnny Depp just mussed up bedroom hair look was yummy...what the hell is up with the french redneck trailer park lookin "wife"...(yes I know she is famous in france but it IS la france we are talking about here...plus i may be a tad jealous...un peu)

SO if I won one of those there Golden Balls and had to go to a party, I would be so pissed to see the Hilton's there esp Paris! They just sort of dumb down the place. THey are so lucky they have lots of money otherwise Paris would have been the town tramp who has about 3 kids by the age of 18 from all the married men she sleeps with and MRS hilton would be trying to relive beauty pageant days as a chain smoking blue eye shadow wearing ditz that keeps burning the fish stick dinner because she keeps getting wrapped up in the wheel of fortune. Old Pop Hilton would just be laying around on disability as a drunk. Yeah a real class act of a family. Well to cut them some slack the difference in that scenario is that they do have money and ....well...they do have money.